Goodnight Bob Hoskins

When I was seven years old, Eddie Valiant was a real person and Bob Hoskins didn't exist. That is the kind of silly thing that goes through a child's mind when they watch a movie that lays an imprint on you where it is the first time you ever encounter an actor who does such a good job that the world created on screen, no matter how ridiculous, is taken for fact.

I knew "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" was only a movie, but Hoskins brought an honesty and realism to the world that still resonates to this day and is one of the most overlooked comedic performances in film.

Today, Mr. Hoskins' agent confirmed that the actor had passed away from pneumonia while surrounded by family and friends.

Hoskins had retired from acting, but his filmography will live on. Even if the movie wasn't good, he could be counted on to deliver the best performance in the film.

He will be missed.

Keys to the Kingdom Part Two: EPCOT

Let's get this out of the way early: For entirely nostalgic reasons, Epcot is my favorite park at Walt Disney World. There is a sense of wonder that I get that spurs my creativity as I enter the gates.

The main issue to address is the that Epcot has really changed the focus of Future World. What used to be a glimpse of what technology has brought to our present along with a peek at what may be coming in our near future had become a vaguely futuristic look at how awesome our thrill rides are.

FUTURE WORLD:

So let's enter the part where the first change will be extremely evident: Leave A Legacy will be moved or removed.

I know that there is some sort of time based agreement that buying a Leave A Legacy tile (a stamp sized metal portrait Disney sold to guests) will guarantee that the tile will be present for a certain length of time. as such, I would move them to a walkway or somewhere that it isn't blocking the view of Spaceship Earth.

Pictured - Spaceship Earth and the grave markers for people who call it "The Big Golfball"

In the place of these giant eye sores, I would have either nothing or a tasteful sign or something. Anything but the Leave A Legacy stuff.

As we move straight ahead, we hit Spaceship Earth, which would have the final third redone as the interactive elements are fun, but the descent tunnel needs something to look at.

Continuing to go behind Spaceship Earth is the Innoventions area and it needs a little something more considering that it is just a mish mash of different companies advertising their wares. This has always been kind of a problem area ever since it came about in the 90's, but it just seems like a job fair in there now.

Since Future World has left its former mission statement behind, maybe we can convert Innoventions into a One Man's Dream type attraction with the focus on the ever changing landscape of Epcot. Models, movies, and demonstrations along with exhibits about defunct attractions would make this an Epcot fan's favorite area and it would give the company an excuse to sell Epcot Center retro merchandise that I love to buy.

To the left, is the Universe of Energy with Ellen and it is remarkably outdated. Since Ellen is involved, it stays pretty popular; however, from the moment she pulls out her enormous cell phone, the entire things falls apart. Combine this with the knowledge that technology has changed the way energy is produced and her and guest stars Bill Nye and Jamie Lee Curtis are all looking much older nowadays, this show either needs to be replaced or revamped. Though, having Nye and Ellen involved with whatever replaces it would be great. I would also accept either of them being replaced by Neil deGrasse Tyson or at least have him join in.

As we continue right next door to the The Universe of Energy, tucked away behind the bushes is the former location of the Wonders of Life Pavilion. Currently the space is used for special events and at this point, I think that this would be the best use of the space. In fact, I would have the construction crews come in to specifically make it into a more permanent showcase space. As an alternative, there is always my Portal idea, but I've fallen out of love with that idea.

Next up, Mission: Space would get a nice little retheme with the help of Neil deGrasse Tyson, who replaces Gary Sinese as our guide to the attraction. Once on the attraction, the ride video should be updated to the latest in special effects and single screen 3D technology. The post show will have single screen 3D that will have "windows" along the walls to show that we are in a space station as Tyson walks us through interactive exhibits. To go back to Earth, we walk through a Portal Door that instantly transmits us home. Too bad the technology to go INTO space with a portal does not exist yet.

Test Track 2.0 will remain the same since it has become pretty awesome.

Now, we go back around to the other side of Future World.

The Seas With Nemo and Friends needs a new aquarium and as such, they need to do that. I understand that it may close the attraction, but those fish deserve better.

As we enter The Land Pavilion, not much changes, but the film on Soarin' could is updated with 10K projection and possibly 3D.

Continuing on, we enter Journey Into Imagination with Figment.

What is currently playing in this area is not that great, but it isn't terrible; however, I think it should be restored to the closest approximation of what the original JII was and that included adding the Dreamfinder back into the attraction. I understand that the reason that they really can't is because the turn table the initial scene was built into is kind of welded shut.

I think I found a way.

Having to close up the pavilion for an extended time, this would be a complete overhaul of the building and the attraction.

Coming into the attraction, you would collect your steam punk inspired "imagination goggles" (which are just 3D glasses) and climb aboard the newly updated cars that work similarly to the ones in the Spider-man attraction in Universal. The design of the cars would be very steam punk inspired as well as we go into the first scene.

The opening will be nearly exactly like the original Journey attraction that closed in 1998, except done with entirely new and updated technology. We get a 3D projection screen of the Dreamfinder and his blimp in the clouds. Clouds seem to fill the room and the vehicles sway as if floating on air as he introduces himself and the ideas of imagination eventually introducing us to his creation, Figment. Figment flies about the room as they gain inspiration until the "idea bag" is full and we must go empty it in the subsequent scenes. What follows is a wild and whimsical 4D journey of sight and sound as we fly through the pages of books, paint a room by pointing at surfaces, as well as other unpredictable scenarios that climax with the riders having to escape the horror section with the help of Figment and the Dreamfinder.

Once safe, you exit through a gift shop/playground where imagination runs wild!

Next door to the attraction is currently Captain EO; however, I think it would be best served as a preview center for the entire Disney company. 3D technology in general is an every day occurrence in today's day and age and an air conditioned theater that is showing only upcoming attractions and would be a great addition to an Imagination Pavilion. Perhaps even calling it the EO Theater would be a nice nod to the currently running...severely outdated attraction.



WORLD SHOWCASE:

To be honest, one of the best areas of any theme park is Epcot's World Showcase. It has everything you could possibly want including culturally diverse cast members that represent their individual countries, unique dining opportunities, and even bucket loads of alcoholic beverages.

There is some upkeep that needs to be done, especially in the Norway Pavilion, but this is an area of the park that could only be improved with the addition of more countries.

Without going into details about what they would entail, I humbly suggest the following: Australia, New Zealand, United Arab Emirates, Brazil, and anywhere that has good food that I may have left out.

Finally, Illuminations needs an update. I will leave it at that.

Next time, we delve into the Animal Kingdom for what should be the shortest entry in the series. Until then, don't forget to share, comment with your ideas and country additions, and listen to our podcast!

Thanks for reading!

Keys to the Kingdom Part One: Magic Kingdom

Have you ever sat down with friends or loved ones where you spent the imaginary money that you had as a result of a future lottery winning that likely will never happen? I love to do that kind of thing because for a brief moment in time, I can live like a millionaire in my gorgeous mansion in Orlando, surrounded by my loved ones in smaller houses as I go to the grocery store in my Delorean.

Much like those flights of lottery fancy, I always enjoy coming up with additions and policies that I would institute if I were in charge of Disney Parks. This is not only because they are cool, but because I think Disney would make a ton of money off of these ideas and I truly hope that they steal them.

I think we should really begin with the park that needs little introduction, the Magic Kingdom. Of course this means that I am going to introduce it anyway.

The Magic Kingdom is the park that people think about when people say Walt Disney World. Luckily, it doesn't really need too much work. The park is currently (as of April 2014) undergoing a refresh around the Hub to allow for better traffic flow as well as the addition of viewing areas for the fireworks. The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train will be opeining as the final stage of the New Fantasyland expansion that also included the hit Little Mermaid dark ride, the Be Our Guest resturaunt, and a few other nice bits. So what is there that can be done? Let's take this on a land by land basis so that you can better visualize what I would do.

Main Street:
Main Street needs very little in the way of changes cosmetically. In fact, the only real changes I would make in the area would be a refresh of the Tony's Townsquare Resturaunt and the merchandising.

Tony's is too cramped and the food is worse than an Olive Garden knock off. I would just get rid of the current menu (which I assume was written in crayon at the time they were originally written) and raise prices to make it more of a signature dining experience. Again, that only works if the food is good. Maybe we can get Chef Joe from MasterChef to do something with it. Of course that would be wishful thinking.

As we walk further down Main Street, the stores are all basically selling the same stuff that you can buy anywhere else in WDW. I think it would be a good idea to have at least a few items that are specifically for main street. T-shirts, hats, and even Dapper Dan merchandise would be nice.

Adventureland:
As we continue to move from Main Street and go clockwise to Adventureland, we cross over the bridge to discover the biggest change I would make to the Magic Kingdom.

The first thing you will notice is that Tinkerbell's Magical Nook (teehee) will be replaced by a meet and greet with Aladdin, Jasmine, Abu, and the Genie allowing me to relocate the nook in another park (I will discuss specifics in a future installment). You and your family will be making the procession to congratulate Al and his new bride at their wedding.

As you move past the Aloha Isle and smoking area, you will find yourself with multiple paths you can take. Two of the paths will guide you through a series of shops and highly themed areas that look like a Middle Eastern market similar to what is located in the Morocco pavilion in EPCOT. (Yes, I know Morocco is in Africa)

Morocco Pavilion

The shopping area is like a maze and will give you the feel of being in an exotic country and will sell a selection of Indiana Jones merchandise. The area will completely replace the FLYING CARPETS OF ALADDIN attraction and will culminate with an Indiana Jones face character meet and greet opportunity.

Set up to be as if Marshall College, employer of Dr. Jones, is trying to get alumnus to donate money to the archaeology department by sending the world famous explorer on tour to shake babies and kiss hands.

The location of the meet and greet as well as the merch will make sense considering that the third path that leads straight ahead(accessible from the shops as well) will be INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF THE FORBIDDEN EYE or similar attraction where the SWISS FAMILY TREEHOUSE is currently located. Travelling past these locations will bring you past some areas that will not be touched including THE JUNGLE CRUISE, THE ENCHANTED TIKI ROOM, and PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN though the latter of which needs a severe refresh to fix the effects.

The PIRATE TUTORIAL will continue on in this area and Tortuga Tavern will be converted into a sit down restaurant with two character meal experiences. Breakfast will have the characters of Jake and the Neverland Pirates as they serve breakfast burritos (as suggested by Barbara Phelps) and the like and dinner will have Jack Sparrow to hob nob with guests as he looks for new crew members.

Frontierland:
Frankly, Frontierland is almost pitch perfect. The only thing here would be to ensure the effects on SPLASH MOUNTAIN keep working (often they don't) and add the Disneyland effects to BIG THUNDER MOUNTAIN RAILROAD.

Liberty Square:
Liberty Square is also pretty perfect. The only thing I can think of is to add whoever our next president is to the HALL OF PRESIDENTS.

Fantasyland:
Eff you Fantasyland! You've had enough TLC, dagnabbit!

Tomorrowland:
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Tomorrowland is a mess.

What does the "Tomorrow" in Tomorrowland even mean anymore, really? Not much of anything if you ask me. There isn't one aspect of the attractions located here that make me think of the Future as was the original intent of this land.

The good news about the land is that there really isn't too much that I can really do to it. I think the attractions located there are ok, but it is such a mismatched group of properties in there. It really is more of a sci-fi version of Fantasyland without the cohesiveness.

Any changes that I would do would be mostly cosmetic. Just drop some paint here and there, make sure the effects are working on all of the shows and what not. The only content change in the area would be to improve two of the attractions that are already there.

In the back of the area is the CAROUSEL OF PROGRESS, a fifty year old attraction with a finale that predicts a future that is about twenty years past. I say that the final scene should be overhauled to either the original as an homage, or change it to a new future and enter into the budget to update it again in another ten years.

The other attraction I would overhaul is STITCH'S GREAT ESCAPE. I really hate this attraction, but only because it seems to be effects based for the sake of effects. If I can just get the Imagineers to remove the chilli dog scene, it will be a major victory.


Aside from updating the fireworks and finding a replacement for the MAIN STREET ELECTRICAL PARADE, these are the major changes that I would make to the Magic Kingdom if I was the one in charge. Next time, I will take on what used to be a park of discovery: EPCOT. Until then, share this with those who would appreciate this type of thing and don't forget to comment and tell me what you like and dislike about my ideas. Don't be afraid to comment with what you would do instead because I love to hear new ideas!

Don't forget to listen to our show!