Keys to the Kingdom Part Three: Disney's Animal Kingdom

In parts one and two of the Keys to the Kingdom series, I had a good bit to say about what I would do to improve the parks in ways that I would enjoy seeing and this entry will be no different.

Animal Kingdom has always been my least favorite park in Walt Disney World and there are several reasons. Not that the park is bad, but the walk ways are cramped despite being the largest park, and there are fewer things to do that are worth doing than the other parks. In fact the best attractions are ones that some people pass up because you have to walk through them and people would ask, "Why would I want to walk for fun at this point?"

With that said, it is a gorgeous park with the Asia and Africa areas being the finest examples of theme park  theming I have ever had the pleasure of viewing.

The biggest issue with this park is how inconsistent the quality is, frankly. Africa and Asia are pitch perfect except for the Yeti needing fixed in Expedition Everest. Even though having the Yeti fixed means the end of "Disco Yeti", this is absolutely one of the things that need to happen.

We also need to replace the dragon with the Yeti. Why is that even there anymore?

The only area that I have any issue with (until Avatarland opens) is Dinoland and the surrounding areas. I understand what the Imagineers were going for, I really do; however, I do not believe that the area should exist just for the sake of the story that they are claiming need to be told.

Now this is where YOU come in.

I have two different ideas with what to do with this area. I will give you the chance to tell me which one you like or whether there are other things you would do to improve the area.

OPTION ONE:

Bulldoze the area and take the track to Dinosaur to the MK for the Indiana Jones attraction I proposed. Once we've successfully cleansed the area of all terribleness, we could go forward with Dinosaur theme again, but instead of a dig site, we are time travelers who have been sent to the past. Similar to the other walk ways, we could have different exhibits for the different dinosaurs as if they were living and breathing creatures with the cast members there to describe what life is like for these animals.

The whole thing culminates with a Tyrannosaurus Encounter attraction where we are taken to the Rex exhibit only for something terrible to happen and we are chased by a pack of T-Rexes as we flee to safety.

OPTION TWO:

Bulldoze the area and take the track to Dinosaur to the MK for the Indiana Jones attraction I proposed. Once we've successfully cleansed the area of all terribleness, we could go forward with a complete redesign.

The Finding Nemo musical is an extremely popular part of Dinoland and it has no business being there, so it would make far more sense to change the entire area to match the other sections and make it Australia.

There are enough ideas and unique animals that you could put in an Australian portion of the park that I'm certain that many people have had the same idea. Of course, since this is my blog, I should probably whip something up.

My idea would be to relocate the Seas type attraction to the park, but knowing the extreme difficulty of something like that, the Nemo musical may be the only mention of Australia's nautical wildlife.

Further in the area, we are able to tour the Walkabout Trails that will be similar to the other walking trail areas of the park. In the trails we find ourselves experiencing kangaroos, wallabys, koalas, and many of the creepy crawly things that want to kill everyone that Australia is famous for. You know? Family fun.

Pictured: Family Fun

At the end of the park, we find the Outback Outfitters shop and either Crush's Coaster or an entirely new experience that focuses on the beauty of the Australian Outback.

With that, we exit the Animal Kingdom for now. Which option do you prefer?

Join me again when I tackle my biggest project yet: The Disney Hollywood Studios where we will experience Queen Elsa's powers, the Force, and race for the finish line (literally) with a new area that might have a few glitches.

Don't forget to listen to the latest Dark Quarter Podcast!

Keys to the Kingdom Part Two: EPCOT

Let's get this out of the way early: For entirely nostalgic reasons, Epcot is my favorite park at Walt Disney World. There is a sense of wonder that I get that spurs my creativity as I enter the gates.

The main issue to address is the that Epcot has really changed the focus of Future World. What used to be a glimpse of what technology has brought to our present along with a peek at what may be coming in our near future had become a vaguely futuristic look at how awesome our thrill rides are.

FUTURE WORLD:

So let's enter the part where the first change will be extremely evident: Leave A Legacy will be moved or removed.

I know that there is some sort of time based agreement that buying a Leave A Legacy tile (a stamp sized metal portrait Disney sold to guests) will guarantee that the tile will be present for a certain length of time. as such, I would move them to a walkway or somewhere that it isn't blocking the view of Spaceship Earth.

Pictured - Spaceship Earth and the grave markers for people who call it "The Big Golfball"

In the place of these giant eye sores, I would have either nothing or a tasteful sign or something. Anything but the Leave A Legacy stuff.

As we move straight ahead, we hit Spaceship Earth, which would have the final third redone as the interactive elements are fun, but the descent tunnel needs something to look at.

Continuing to go behind Spaceship Earth is the Innoventions area and it needs a little something more considering that it is just a mish mash of different companies advertising their wares. This has always been kind of a problem area ever since it came about in the 90's, but it just seems like a job fair in there now.

Since Future World has left its former mission statement behind, maybe we can convert Innoventions into a One Man's Dream type attraction with the focus on the ever changing landscape of Epcot. Models, movies, and demonstrations along with exhibits about defunct attractions would make this an Epcot fan's favorite area and it would give the company an excuse to sell Epcot Center retro merchandise that I love to buy.

To the left, is the Universe of Energy with Ellen and it is remarkably outdated. Since Ellen is involved, it stays pretty popular; however, from the moment she pulls out her enormous cell phone, the entire things falls apart. Combine this with the knowledge that technology has changed the way energy is produced and her and guest stars Bill Nye and Jamie Lee Curtis are all looking much older nowadays, this show either needs to be replaced or revamped. Though, having Nye and Ellen involved with whatever replaces it would be great. I would also accept either of them being replaced by Neil deGrasse Tyson or at least have him join in.

As we continue right next door to the The Universe of Energy, tucked away behind the bushes is the former location of the Wonders of Life Pavilion. Currently the space is used for special events and at this point, I think that this would be the best use of the space. In fact, I would have the construction crews come in to specifically make it into a more permanent showcase space. As an alternative, there is always my Portal idea, but I've fallen out of love with that idea.

Next up, Mission: Space would get a nice little retheme with the help of Neil deGrasse Tyson, who replaces Gary Sinese as our guide to the attraction. Once on the attraction, the ride video should be updated to the latest in special effects and single screen 3D technology. The post show will have single screen 3D that will have "windows" along the walls to show that we are in a space station as Tyson walks us through interactive exhibits. To go back to Earth, we walk through a Portal Door that instantly transmits us home. Too bad the technology to go INTO space with a portal does not exist yet.

Test Track 2.0 will remain the same since it has become pretty awesome.

Now, we go back around to the other side of Future World.

The Seas With Nemo and Friends needs a new aquarium and as such, they need to do that. I understand that it may close the attraction, but those fish deserve better.

As we enter The Land Pavilion, not much changes, but the film on Soarin' could is updated with 10K projection and possibly 3D.

Continuing on, we enter Journey Into Imagination with Figment.

What is currently playing in this area is not that great, but it isn't terrible; however, I think it should be restored to the closest approximation of what the original JII was and that included adding the Dreamfinder back into the attraction. I understand that the reason that they really can't is because the turn table the initial scene was built into is kind of welded shut.

I think I found a way.

Having to close up the pavilion for an extended time, this would be a complete overhaul of the building and the attraction.

Coming into the attraction, you would collect your steam punk inspired "imagination goggles" (which are just 3D glasses) and climb aboard the newly updated cars that work similarly to the ones in the Spider-man attraction in Universal. The design of the cars would be very steam punk inspired as well as we go into the first scene.

The opening will be nearly exactly like the original Journey attraction that closed in 1998, except done with entirely new and updated technology. We get a 3D projection screen of the Dreamfinder and his blimp in the clouds. Clouds seem to fill the room and the vehicles sway as if floating on air as he introduces himself and the ideas of imagination eventually introducing us to his creation, Figment. Figment flies about the room as they gain inspiration until the "idea bag" is full and we must go empty it in the subsequent scenes. What follows is a wild and whimsical 4D journey of sight and sound as we fly through the pages of books, paint a room by pointing at surfaces, as well as other unpredictable scenarios that climax with the riders having to escape the horror section with the help of Figment and the Dreamfinder.

Once safe, you exit through a gift shop/playground where imagination runs wild!

Next door to the attraction is currently Captain EO; however, I think it would be best served as a preview center for the entire Disney company. 3D technology in general is an every day occurrence in today's day and age and an air conditioned theater that is showing only upcoming attractions and would be a great addition to an Imagination Pavilion. Perhaps even calling it the EO Theater would be a nice nod to the currently running...severely outdated attraction.



WORLD SHOWCASE:

To be honest, one of the best areas of any theme park is Epcot's World Showcase. It has everything you could possibly want including culturally diverse cast members that represent their individual countries, unique dining opportunities, and even bucket loads of alcoholic beverages.

There is some upkeep that needs to be done, especially in the Norway Pavilion, but this is an area of the park that could only be improved with the addition of more countries.

Without going into details about what they would entail, I humbly suggest the following: Australia, New Zealand, United Arab Emirates, Brazil, and anywhere that has good food that I may have left out.

Finally, Illuminations needs an update. I will leave it at that.

Next time, we delve into the Animal Kingdom for what should be the shortest entry in the series. Until then, don't forget to share, comment with your ideas and country additions, and listen to our podcast!

Thanks for reading!